25 Homeware Sale Buys

It's been a while since I've done one of these hefty homeware sale lists, cough *wishlist* cough.

I mean, since I've moved out I've been more fussed about getting the latest on trend pizza tray than a pair of slim mom jeans from ASOS. I've changed. I'm old.  But I also love it a teeny bit.

I've never been a huge sales shopper for clothes because funnily enough the mass of people trampling on the said items in the sales isn't hugely appealing for me. Neither is finding a cute dress that was actually from 2 seasons ago.

But homeware sales are a whole other ball game. It's probably things you've been lurking on for months, in anticipation for those gentle price drops. But most of the time, you'll just be having a browse and think OMG that would look so good next to the other 5793 mugs I have too. So that's what happens, with me anyway.

I had fun putting these little gals together, firstly to window shop for myself, but also to see how many things I now own are also in the sale. That's always fun, right?

So you'll find a hefty little amount of copper, pinks, monochromes and just damn cute homeware pieces that have all been vetted by me for their Instagram worthiness, of course. 

Since I started this list, things have already started going out of stock, so there's no time like the present. Happy Shopping!

1. Eat Drink Enjoy Plate - H&M Home £1.49
2. Wooden Chopping Board - H&M Home £9.99
3. Round Sheepskin Cushion - Oliver Bonas £30
4. Bella Swan Mug - Oliver Bonas £8
5. Ines Medium Jug - Oliver Bonas £16
6. Jimi 1 Drawer Bedside Table - La Redoute £99 (currently 20% off everything)
7. Ikoya Water Hyacinth Basket - La Redoute £69 (currently 20% off everything)
8. So Fresh Bath Mat - Urban Outfitters £18
9. Birdy Silver Side Table - Urban Outfitters £55
10. Hello Word Object - West Elm £14.95
11. Graphic Tricoloured Throw - Maisons Du Monde £56.25
12. Kate Moss Poster - Desenio From £59.95 (currently 30% off selected posters)
13. Copper Coloured Metal Lamp - Maisons Du Monde £40.40
14. (currently out of stock) Same design - Lupita Wooden Console Table - Oliver Bonas £255
15. Penelope Llama Trinket Dish - Oliver Bonas £7
16. (Similar) Edgar White Orbis Marble Table Lamp - Trouva £119
17. Palm Leaves Poster - Desenio From £5.95 (currently 30% off selected posters)
18. Hubsch Monochrome Wool Rug - Trouva £120
19. Canvas Homestore 5pc Set Oslo Copper Cutlery - Trouva £45
20. Pommed Monogram Stocking - Anthropologie £10.95
21. Skye Medium Lantern - The White Company £9
22. Odessa Metal Bin Copper - Made £22
23. Alana Bedside Table Copper - Made £89
24. Brandy Metal Tray - Made £25
25. Mustique Signature Candle - The White Company £14

What homeware bits have you been spying in the sales?

*Some of the above links are affiliate links, this just means that if you make a purchase on them I will make a few pennies from the sale, it doesn't cost you any extra. If you want to get rid of the affiliate link just clear your cookies and refresh, simple!

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5 of My Favourite Posts From 2017

Oh, 2017, it's been a funny old year for blogging. 

I pretty much wrote it off in the summer. I was neither here nor there when I moved out. I still posted OOTD posts that I did way back when and well, I *think* I've finally found my blogging voice.

I'm happier with my content than ever before, and I'll tell you why. I've stripped back the 'air brushed content', it's all or nothing from me now. I'm much more selective in the types of brands and sponsored content I take on. But the main thing? I've started to blog about what I want to blog about. 

So sorry, but no more hand cream reviews or 'I went to this event and I did this and then that..' from me.

Coincidentally the 5 posts I plucked from my archive this year were mostly all written towards the end of the year. They're personal, *hopefully* funny and reads that you can relate to as well. I like how we're never alone in situations that we sometimes feel we are.

There's always someone out there to listen to how I've sliced my hand open with a bread knife, and how I'm calling out the influencer lifestyle I so don't want to be a part of.

So, here's 5 of my faves that I've been most proud of this year.

1. What I Learned From A Week Long Social Media Detox

YAS! I said I'd start the year without social media and I did. A life affirming moment for me, I didn't need social media to complete me, I was actually quite alright without it. 

I gained time, a lot of it. I spoke to people. I swapped my daily scroll of Insta for a conversation with my mum. It was bloody hard, but a real eye opener.

Social media is a wonderful thing, I love it. But once you've been sucked in, the seed has been sown. It roots itself inside you and it's not always a good thing. It can bring doubt, anxiety and jealousy, and also a bit of sadness. 

If you do anything in 2018 or over Christmas, ditch the digital. You'll feel so much happier for it, and it ain't going anywhere.

2. My First 3 Weeks of Being A Homeowner

I couldn't not include one of the biggest life changes/achievements of 2017. I bought my own home! A stressful whirlwind that still rears its ugly troll head now, but oh boy, I did it. I really did it, by myself.

The first 3 weeks were a blur. Mostly 'I can't believe this is mine' and constantly feeling like someone was going to tell me to leave. The honeymoon period was amazing and I love that I have this open diary to look back on. Those big issues that feel like nothing now.

Everything resolves itself. That's the one key thing I've learnt during this year, there will always be 'something', but it's how I react to it and move forward that matters and what I've learnt. Being a homeowner has come with another ticking time bomb of stress and problems, but I wouldn't have it any other way.

I *guess* this means I'm an adult now too.

3. 10 Things That Only Happen On An All Inclusive Holiday

I had to include this for the pure lol factor. My favourite list post to date and one that probably no one else finds funny, but I'm just like YEP.

It brings back my summer holiday memories of eating pizza and chips for tea every night. That CUTE AF green wristband and the Benidorm worthy evening entertainment. It was a good one.

4. Fakery Within The Influencer Network

The post that left a sour taste in my mouth. I had a resounding amount of tweets and comments about this post, and it seems that a lot of bloggers could relate to this too.

The originality with influencers is still very much lacking. As the Black Friday sales came and Christmas gift guides did the round we all became accustomed to seeing the exact same ad 5 x in the same scroll. 

But it's not just that. Its how bloggers and influencers have this massive divide now, the glass ceiling that some of us just cannot get past, but also don't want to get past.

Social media and the world of influencers is growing at a scary speed, so we don't know what's next. All we can do is continue to invest in real people, write about what we love on our corners of the internet and be here when the influencer bubble inevitably bursts. Nah, I'm not bitter at all.

5. The Friends I'll Be Leaving In 2017

I couldn't believe how many people reached out to me about this post and were like YES GURL. It appears I'm not alone and some people may be thinking it's a brutal post but I'm sorry you are NUMBER ONE. 

You should never have your happiness sucked away for the benefit of staying in an unfulfilling friendship. The type that eats you up inside, and they know it.

I'm done with being the nice guy and putting up with class A shit. I'm done being there when they aren't there for me. I aint no clothes horse to take anymore soggy laundry. I'm out.

Like Sarah Knight taught me in the life changing magic of not giving a fuck, rid yourself of feeling guilty for saying NO to things, and just don't give a fuck with the NotSorry method.

Here's to even better content in 2018. As always let me know if there are any posts or type of content you would like to see from me in the new year! 

I hope you all had a wonderful Christmas and a very happy New Year. Thanks for sticking around with me, you total babes. See you in 2018.

What are your favourite posts from 2017?

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My Relationship With Food

If you think I'm that type of girl that eats bean salads and leaves for breakfast, lunch and dinner, then I'm sorry, but you'd be very much disappointed.

I'd much rather be coming home to fish fingers, beans and chips on a Monday evening than actually thinking about cooking anything remotely healthy. Winning at life. But is it more than that?

Is it more than just being too lazy to cook anything? Well, yes it is.

My relationship with food has two tiers. The first tier is that I am fussy. I am that girl that goes to Nando's, asks for completely plain chicken and then douses it in ketchup. Sorry not sorry.

Margherita pizza only. I don't do anything drenched in sauces or gravy. KFC, or Chinese? Never had it. 

I'm scared. I'm scared of trying new food. Scared of something making me ill, and it's the mental barrier that I have before trying any food that puts me off trying it entirely. As I've got older I have forced myself to try new things. I mean, there's only so much I can deal with of my repertoire of turkey burgers and omelettes. I do make a mean omelette though. Only ham and cheese tho, OBV.

I joke, but my entire office ask me what I have for tea every night like LOL. Same as last Tuesday Donna.

But then there's another level to my relationship with food. It's more sinister and well, it dictates me.

You see, being teetotal is not the only thing that pancreatitis left me with. I have to be really careful what I eat. But I also don't know when to stop or learn. 

So yes, that is a dominos I have every month, another sickeningly sweet hot chocolate, and oh yes another cake pit stop on the weekend. I am my own worst enemy.

But no one ever sees what goes on behind closed doors, beyond the over exposed Insta snap of my cold hot chocolate. 

It was only 2 weeks ago that a weekend of bad eating left me for a week with agonising stomach pains, constant nausea, having to sleep with a hot water bottle every night and having no appetite. It was the worst flare up that I have had for a while, but these are common place to me. 

I vowed I learned my lesson this time. I'd had enough of carrying anti sickness tablets around and chewing on glace ginger (10/10 nausea cure btw). But here I am already consuming a dominos pizza, chocolate Yule log and mince pie in the same day. 

I'm constantly playing with the devil and I know it. How many biscuits is too many? When am I next going to be pushed over the edge? That greedy, piggy voice in my head is always there saying 'go on, just one more', then they back track 'JUST FINISH THE WHOLE PACKET'. I hate inner me.

Greasy food, sugar laden food and basically anything processed or fatty is a 100% no for me. The pancreas is closely linked with how you digest food, and pancreas inflammation can be caused by all of the above. 

I've been clear of pancreatitis for a fair few years now. But my pancreas is still scarred, it's there dormant in the background, scared of my every move. 

LOL. I nearly had to ring 999 for eating a packet of haribo earlier this year. I couldn't walk I was in so much pain, I was sick by a car showroom and I couldn't eat for a couple days. Wasn't the first time though, never is. I've also had to run out of M&S to be sick by a bin once because of Mr Candy King.

My issue is that I feel like food is my only vice in life. I exercise a lot, I can't drink, so why should I also be denied of my one true love in life? It's food.

I feel like it's a sick joke when I can't even handle a slice of cake with friends. That's why I come back running every time, it's a vicious circle.

It's something I've very much kept behind closed doors before. It's like a dead weight I carry around with me everywhere. It could be worse, a lot worse. I know it could. When temptation is always around you, it's always going to be hard.

For 2018 I 100% vow to get back onto the wagon. There's no IFS or BUTS this time. 

Start following the basic diet I know my pancreas yearns from me. I need to start behaving. Everything in moderation and all, so I will be making exceptions here and there. But for my own benefit I think I need one whole basic month to see how well I can feel.

Because truth be told, I can't remember the last time I felt well. That makes me sad. There's more to life than a piece of cake and I need to show myself that in 2018.

Here's to health and happiness in 2018. Reworking old habits and being kind to myself. It's not you, it's me.

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Why I'm Going To Be Signing Out of Social Media On Christmas Day

I started the year off with one whole week off social media. The endless engagements, new babies, gift announcements and #boydidgood posts were enough to turn me green with envy after Christmas dinner lunch. Feeling deflated and well, just a bit shit about myself.

Scrolling through social media is very much a filler of my time. I do it when I'm bored, lonely and when ya know, want to have a stalk. The worst times you can. It's those types of moments when the Instagram feed eats you up inside. You become the big green monster. It's the posts you keep thinking about hours later. Tbh, it ruined the festivities and new year for me last year. It just made me feel really rubbish about myself.

The digital free time I had at the start of the year was probably the best start I could give to any year. I felt so motivated, refreshed and I suddenly had all of this free time to DO stuff. 

My Christmas Day is usually just spent with my mum, dad and sister. But I'll still find myself reaching for my phone during the day. I'll be looking at what other people get, trying to post something just as good, refreshing my phone until I've had 11 likes. Moaning about not getting enough likes, then thinking I'm the only one looking at social media on Christmas Day of all days. Like OK I get it, I need a life.

I have an unhealthy obsession with it over Christmas which is why I will be signing out of all my accounts for 24 hours over Christmas.

There aren't going to be any PRs looking for people on Christmas Day. You aren't going to get a brand regram. Albeit nice, you probably *won't* gain 1,000 followers either. You'll always be lucky if you get more than 20 likes too. So what's the point?

It's all going to still be there come Boxing Day.  

Christmas Day needs to be that day that I am good to myself. My brain needs a complete shut down, apart from worrying about not getting enough pigs in blankets and whether I'll be out of my pjs by 11. Both inevitably gonna happen. Soz not soz.

The point is, do we ever really get any time off when we're constantly wired through social media? A week was bloody hard for me, self confessed Insta addict. But 24 hours, I'm in.

I want to be in the moment this year. A head that isn't clouded with feelings of low worth. A day where I don't know what anyone got gifted, or who got engaged (let's face it, there's usually about 5). A day of feeling good, doing good and having quality, uninterrupted time with my family. Plus, at least I'll be able to give the Corrie Christmas special my undivided attention this year.

I'll see you all on Boxing Day. 

Are you planning on having any digital free time over Christmas?

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A Festive Afternoon Tea At Boringdon Hall

I was about to say about how bloomin' wonderful and festive the weekend has been, but HELLO Wednesday, how did that one happen. Only another 8 working days to get through now until Christmas. We can do this.

So yeah, last weekend was great. I got a real Christmas tree, decorated it, went to London and even had a snow day. I also had the most wonderful afternoon off having a rather festive little afternoon tea at Boringdon Hall Plymouth. I mean, I like cake and tea anyway, so what's not to love? 

My colleagues joke about it, but I really don't drive further outside of Plymouth. Not even into Plympton which is, LOL Plymouth still. So I'd never even been to Boringdon Hall before which I'm not gonna lie about I'm mad about. It's situated in the most hidden yet stunning location, it's easy to find and the grounds are from something of a fairytale. I knew I was gonna like it there.

It's the type of place I always dream I'll book myself into for a few days of R&R, fascinating company and country walks. Yet to happen, but maybe for Christmas hey?

Boringdon Hall are renown for their amazing afternoon teas, a home away from home. They even did a Beauty and the Beast themed afternoon tea earlier in the year which was an obvious hit. The grounds themselves are breathtaking, but the actual dining rooms are something else. Think Hogwarts, but for muggles.

We were led into a huge, high ceiling hall which felt more like a cosy country lodge than a dining room. There's me imagining there being tables and seats like the school canteen. It was home to cosy sofas, roaring fires, and Christmas decorations to top all Christmas decorations. You can promise to get all the festive feels by the time you leave.

Once we were seated it was time to get ready for the festive offering. Do wear soft pants, because that top button of your jeans won't be staying done up for long.

This special edition afternoon tea has been individually designed to melt our hearts and warm our bellies during Christmas time. The afternoon tea had a real mixture of your classic Christmas favourites, with an alternative twist.

Working from the bottom tier up, the savoury selection included the cutest finger sandwiches, a classic ham sandwich which easily pleased the fussy eater within me, a salmon blini, coronation chicken sandwich and a cucumber sandwich. What more could you want? Let's face it, for me the afternoon tea is all about the sweet treats. 

The next layer is a total classic, but favourite in my eyes, a plain and fruit scone with plenty of jam and cream. There's nothing to see here, apart from the debate that inevitably will unveil, jam or cream first?

Saving the best for last. A slice of traditional Christmas cake, which is honestly one of my favourite things about Christmas food, after the mince pies and tubs of cheeselets. Marzipan, icing and all.  I loved the twist on the traditional Yule log, which posed as Santa's belly, fat and chocolatey, just how I like my Yule logs.

Without a doubt the real star of the show after the 'figgy pudding' was the Snowman macaroon. Ugh, can we just take a moment to appreciate this little guy. It's something that I wouldn't have even thought of adding to an afternoon tea. But it bloody works.

With our tummy's full of festive food, we could have sat there for hours on end with our mulled wine and tea (there's at least 61748 different teas to choose from, well, almost). 

The member of staff was so attentive during our time at Boringdon and the atmosphere was amazing. The time felt so precious there, I would never have thought I was 5 minutes away from the dual carriageway in Plymouth. It was peaceful, beautiful and just everything you need from a relaxing afternoon. It was a mini escape from daily life that I didn't think was possible at 2pm on a Thursday afternoon.

The festive afternoon tea at Boringdon Hall is only here until the 31st December. It's £30 per person and includes the full feast, with a glass of mulled wine and tea. However, they do a different themed afternoon tea every month, as they understand that we take afternoon tea just as seriously as they do!

Let the festivities commence! 

Have you been to Boringdon Hall before? Do you like going for Afternoon tea?

*I was invited to Boringdon Hall for afternoon tea, however, all opinions in this post are 100% my own

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5 Easy Ways To Grow Your Pinterest Following

Mysterious and unknown. Pinterest had always been that one platform that I had no idea how to grow.

I'd had my account for over 2 years and only had 20 followers. Basically if you're posting less than once a week, don't bother. It was impossible. It was the impossible platform to crack.

So last year I set myself a challenge to really focus on getting some growth, experimenting and seeing what delivered the results. Within 3 months I was over 1,000 followers up and my blog content was starting to get repinned.

For an example, one of my pictures has been repinned 15,000 times. Can I get a hell yeah?

Without blowing my own trumpet, I thought I'd let you in on these easy ways to grow your following. Pinterest is not just a case of following 1,000 boards and hoping for the best though, you'll need to set a bit of time aside to start reaping the results.

1. Pin, Pin, Pin - Consistency Is Key

Consistency is the key to success on Pinterest. Without it, none of the below will help. This was trial and error for me. But I found that I had to pin around 3-4 times per day spread out over the day, pinning at least 10 pins at once.

There was a lot of early advice about Pinterest that pinning too much at once is bad. Well that really is a load of BS. If you're pinning high quality content, on a range of different boards I actually find that this helps me more.

Set aside little time slots each day, even 5 minutes 4 times a day, and you'll quickly start to notice a difference within a week.

2. Tidy Up Your Boards

I had a proper sit down and evaluated my boards before starting to grow them. I deleted old boards with not many pins, and deleted pins I didn't like anymore. I renamed the boards to help with search (this has been proven to help) and wrote short descriptions for each of the boards. Again, just picking out a few keywords and making it a bit more descriptive.

If I want to make any new boards, I now keep these private so I can only see them and then set them to public when they have 10+ pins in them. It again shows your followers or potential followers that you are active. Having boards that are full of pins looks far more aesthetically pleasing too.

3. Focus On One Key Board

When you're pinning you may have noticed the 'suggested boards' that come up amidst all of the pins. Well the key is getting into that. A bit like the google algorithm, no one really knows how it works and what the algorithm is to trigger getting yourself into that box. 

However, I found that by focusing all of my efforts on one key board this is how I grew my following in such a short, but intense period of time. It doesn't even matter if you're not posting across your other boards, or so I think anyway. 

The more you pin on an exclusive board, the more times your pins will be seen and the more active you are, the higher chance you'll appear as a suggested board to follow when others are looking for similar content.

It also has to be a board that a lot of people are searching for similar pins, but not something that has a high level of competition like 'Dream Home', 'Bathroom Interior'. I setup a Flatlay's board and I guess I should owe all my thanks to that. Plus my many hours spent pinning between work, exercise and life.

4.Take Clean, White, Pinnable Photos - Unique Content

It's great to keep pinning what comes up on your feed, but there's only so long you can do this without ending up pinning the same photo three times without realising. Unique content is what I believe is one of the top ways to grow your following. It goes without saying that for them to be pinnable they need to be the following;

-Clean images
-Not blurry
-White photos/or other clear backdrops
-Something you would repin
-Larger sized images (not small landscape or square)
-Keyword based or descriptive captions (helps with visibility and search)
-Link them to a really good blog post (top way to drive more traffic to your blog)

Having a following from implementing the above will also mean that when you do share some original content, there is more chance of it being pinned and pinned again. Ultimately, driving more traffic to your blog which is definitely the end goal conversion for me.

I do mostly pin stuff that is already on my feed, but mixing it up with original content too will help you to stay relative and get people clicking the follow button.

5. Collaborative Boards

This is a really good way to reach out to an existing base of followers with your content and ensure that that particular board is consistently updated.

I'm part of a Beauty, Fashion and Lifestyle bloggers board with about 25 other bloggers. Not only is it a great way to see what other people have been posting about and give yourself inspiration, it also allows you to pin your own content and have a better chance of it being seen by more people.

You can always invite yourself to join other peoples boards or start them from scratch with a few friends. I wouldn't recommend having a lot on these boards on your feed, but at least one can really help with your growth in terms of reach, traffic and hopefully followers too.

Now for me to practice what I preach and get back into the Pinterest game. After all, remembering to post a few pins every week is the same as posting one image on Instagram everyday and hoping for the best, right? It's hopeless.

What have you found to help grow your Pinterest following?

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What Christmas Means To Me

Hello December you beautiful thing you. The Christmas wreath is already hung, the day off work is booked to get the Christmas tree and the Christmas jumpers have already made an appearance. As for my Christmas shopping, well. 

This year will be my first Christmas in my new home and I honestly couldn't be anymore excited about it. Last year was really stressful as I was going through the house buying process and every bit of spare cash was being squirrelled away for my house deposit. I feel like this year I get to start making my own traditions as well as enjoying it without any guilt.

I love this time of the year as everyone just seems happier. As soon as Mariah Carey comes blasting on the radio you can't seem to stop yourself smiling. Oh, and that one more mince pie, yeah don't worry about that, because it's Christmas.

'It's Christmas' is the best kind of excuse for anything. Totally justifiable too when you're delving your hand back into the tub of roses.

So what is it that makes Christmas for me?

We all love Christmas. The food, the films, the weather, the presents. But underneath all of that, what does it 'really mean'? 

Not only is it the best time of the year for a reason, it marks that one time of the year that I know I will get to spend quality time with my family. No stresses, no thoughts about work and no having to go out and do anything. I value this time so much now that I have moved out and it's making me more excited for Christmas than ever before. A few days of not having to adult and be looked after? Yes please.

But it's the traditions that come with that. The traditions we have had from growing up and the traditions that I will continue to create each year. We still put a glass of sherry and a mince pie out on Christmas Eve when I go to bed. 

My sister and I still leave our sacks out. We watch a Christmas film after our Christmas dinner. We always get Hotel Chocolat Christmas crackers. We always go for a walk on Boxing Day morning to walk off the food, ready to get started again when we get home.

It's the traditions that bind it for me and it's what I look forward to SO much. There's no other time of the year to look forward to so much stuff for a whole month. It brings happiness and warmth into my life for those few short weeks in December. I love it.

As this is my first year in my new home, I'm going all out. I'm getting my first ever real Christmas tree, I've bought The White Company decorations for my tree, £20 for a pack of 6 baubles. lol. life. I'm going to spend a few days watching Christmas films and wrapping. I'm also going to head to a Christmas carol service with mince pies. 

I have to look the part too for all the festivities. I'll add a new Christmas jumper to my wardrobe every year. I'll soon have enough for every day in December. 

Nothing helps me get into the festive spirit more than Christmas Jumpers. This year Boohoo are collaborating with Teenage Cancer Trust through 4 of their Christmas jumper designs (including the one I'm wearing). From the 4th, for each jumper that is sold they will be donating £5 to the Teenage Cancer Trust. So you can do good by kitting yourself out in your new jumper this year, and help someone else feel good during the festive period too. It's a win, win!

So in a nutshell, it's the family time and those precious traditions that makes Christmas for me. I'm sure as I get older the traditions will expand and evolve, and I'm just so excited for Christmas this year in my new home. Ya know, just in case you hadn't noticed I'd already mentioned that 16589 times. I'm sure it's something that will always make me feel warm and special when I look back on it in years to come.

Let the festivities begin!

Eva Merry Christmas Ya Filthy Animal Jumper* - Boohoo

Watch - Cluse

What does Christmas mean to you?

*Products marked with an asterix (*) have been sent to me for review. However, all opinions in this post are 100% my own

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The Friends I'll Be Leaving in 2017

2017 was the year of self love and happiness for me. I'd spent ages searching for it. Something that I thought only depended on myself. If I'm not happy then it's my fault, right?

I've had some pretty low moments this year. Whenever I feel low I blame myself, I pick at myself, my flaws bubble to the surface and I compare. We all do it.

But something that has only just clicked with me recently is that my happiness is determined by those people I surround myself with. Every self help book tells you it, but you brush past it. It's the ulcer you know is there, but you can't be bothered to treat it. So you let it lie. Until it comes back again.

When people cancel. I think it's my fault. I let it happen time and time again, yet I still let them back into my life. Only to happen again. When will I learn? When will I acknowledge that my good nature is abused and hung out to dry. That these people do not deserve me. 

This weekend made it all too apparent to me that I can't continue like this anymore. Being there and making myself available to people that don't give a shit if they've 'accidentally' double booked. Only to let you know an hour before. That's always nice. But it's never been the first time.

It may have taken me the whole year to reevaluate what makes me happy and what makes me not so happy. But I'm here now, and these are the friends I'll be leaving firmly in 2017...

The Canceller

We all cancel. Sometimes we have to, I'll only ever cancel if I'm ill and I totally understand when people are ill too, it can't be helped.

But I'm talking about the serial canceller. The one that asks YOU if you want to do something, you don't even bother making the first move anymore because you know what it leads to.

It doesn't just happen once. You get excuses, lies and sometimes you won't even get a response until the next day. Shame. You'd already turned up at the place at 10am the day before like you arranged.

How does that make you feel? 

It makes you feel pretty shit. Firstly, you've got no time to rearrange and make other plans, charming. You're questioning whether they've dumped you for better plans (always a contender) and are you actually a person people want to spend time with? Are you even likeable? Do people even like you?

It continues. The canceller has been the biggest thing in my life this year and it makes me feel worse EVERY single time. 

But this time I won't be going back. I've had enough. I've identified this as being the biggest thing that makes me feel sad, and I'm not letting it happen anymore. Those friends can stick their plans, because I'm not being that person that's cancelled on anymore.

I'm done with being second best all the time.

The Me Me Me

I like to think I'm a good listener, but also a good talker. I love to ask a lot of questions as I'm a very inquisitive person, I'd always rather talk about someone else than me. I'm really quite boring.

But what happens when it becomes completely one sided? The friend that only ever talks about themselves, the amazing things that have been happening, the places they've been, and you're happy for them. But have they once asked how you are? No.

There's also a fine line between being really happy for your friend that they're achieving all these great things, but when it's done in a way when everything is about them, you start evaluating in your life what you have achieved. You compare yourself, which instantly makes it become an unhealthy relationship, and it only spirals down from there.

I've met A LOT of people who fall into this camp over the years and they never stay around for long. If a friendship isn't a two way thing and brings you down rather than lifting you up it's time to let it go. 

The One Who Never Replies

I'm 100% holding my hands up here and saying that sometimes I completely forget to reply. In fact one of my good friends I met through blogging, we take at least 1 month to reply to each other because we actually send essays to each other. But we both get it, there isn't anything pressing.

If it's a question, or some form of message that needs a reply and you get nothing, it's the worst. When they eventually reply you message back straight away, only to then have nothing for 4 more working days.

Messages take 10 seconds to send. No one is too busy to not message you back, stat. You are and should be important enough to deserve a response back. The 'I've been so busy' excuse is frankly pathetic. Cos WE ARE ALL BUSY. We all have jobs, we all have commitments, we all have different friends, but we find time for it.

Finding time in a day to reply to a friend is part of the friend package. And if you don't have that, then it's frankly not worth it. 

It's time for me to stop being 'so nice' and take the bull by the horns. So to speak. I don't have time for people that don't have the time for me anymore. Everyone's time is deserving, when time really is so precious.

There's nothing I hate more than negativity, but sometimes these things just have to be aired. If anything, just for myself. With every cleanse though comes a fresh start, and I think by getting away from people that bring me down it will allow me to push my happiness into the spotlight next year.

Remember, you are always number 1.

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2 Years On - What My Current Job Has Taught Me

Ey up, how did this happen? It only feels like yesterday my mum made a packed lunch for my first day in my big girl job.

It was a lifetime away from answering phone calls from angry train users, and slipping into the same monotony every day that felt like it would last forever. I never thought I would get out. But I did.

My new job was the challenge and breath of fresh air that I needed. I never thought I would make it past the first month. I wasn't cut out for this, I wasn't smart enough and that person inside my head keept telling me I wasn't good enough. And sometimes it still does.

But here I am, over 2 years later. It's funny how things work out. It's not been an easy journey, but I value the lessons I've learnt since I've been there.

I've cried. I've brought work home with me to finish, and start. I've done extra work to show my worth, and enough presentations to shake a stick out. I've sold my soul to the devil a few times too. Ya know how it is.

It feels like I've constantly had to prove my worth, but maybe that's not so much of a bad thing.

I must admit in hindsight I never thought I would last. When I left uni I didn't think I could manage a full time job after recovering from pancreatitis. My confidence had seriously been knocked and I sort of didn't know how to be around people anymore. It was really damn hard.

I knew the only way I could ever progress was to push past it and get out of my comfort zone. Be pushed into the spotlight and left to cope. Survive drowning in the ocean when you see no glimmer of hope.

That 3 month mark was my milestone. A milestone that I tell anyone to apply to any new job that they start. It will get easier. After 3 months everything starts to slot into place. Those 24635 questions you have no longer need to be asked, and you know what? It's all gonna be okay.

Knowing your worth and value to a company is not a reflection of your skills. It's that person inside your head telling you you'll never be good enough. I've moved up the ranks in the short time that I've been in my job and quite frankly I need to cut myself some slack sometimes.

Having said that, it's not always easy being a girl in a male dominated office. I've been blanked in meetings, left on the shelf and excluded when I really should be there. It's a societal issue that I've met, that ultimately makes me question my worth and value. 

You hear about the gender gap on TV, but you don't think it's an actual thing until you experience it. I have no doubt that I will always feel like that little girl who doesn't know a thing, but it makes me strive to always DO better. 

Paper trail is everything. As soon as the s*** hits the fan, the fingers start pointing. Here we go again. 

Ticking those boxes and organisation along the way will never land you in deep water when you're trying to fight your corner. Paper trail is the easiest way to show your innocence. That get out clause to say, HEY I have done my job.

A final lesson for me is to show conviction in what you're saying. Even if you don't have a clue what you're saying. Be confident. If you're confident in what you're saying, you're one step closer to convincing that person on the other line. They're ranting? Stop speaking and let them. They'll soon stop when they realise you're not reacting.

Despite the hardships I've encountered along the way it's shaping those early, hard years of climbing the ladder to success. We all have to do it.

Ticking those boxes, hardening and strengthening me for whatever experience is next.

Stand your ground, be confident in what you say and work damn hard. No workplace is perfect (or so it seems), and the wall to wall bants in my office definitely helps when you've been laid a bombshell 20 minutes earlier. Just take everything in your stride.

If you're sat there wondering what it is that I actually do with my life, make sure you check out my what I do for my day job post!

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