My Relationship With Food

If you think I'm that type of girl that eats bean salads and leaves for breakfast, lunch and dinner, then I'm sorry, but you'd be very much disappointed.

I'd much rather be coming home to fish fingers, beans and chips on a Monday evening than actually thinking about cooking anything remotely healthy. Winning at life. But is it more than that?

Is it more than just being too lazy to cook anything? Well, yes it is.

My relationship with food has two tiers. The first tier is that I am fussy. I am that girl that goes to Nando's, asks for completely plain chicken and then douses it in ketchup. Sorry not sorry.

Margherita pizza only. I don't do anything drenched in sauces or gravy. KFC, or Chinese? Never had it. 

I'm scared. I'm scared of trying new food. Scared of something making me ill, and it's the mental barrier that I have before trying any food that puts me off trying it entirely. As I've got older I have forced myself to try new things. I mean, there's only so much I can deal with of my repertoire of turkey burgers and omelettes. I do make a mean omelette though. Only ham and cheese tho, OBV.

I joke, but my entire office ask me what I have for tea every night like LOL. Same as last Tuesday Donna.

But then there's another level to my relationship with food. It's more sinister and well, it dictates me.

You see, being teetotal is not the only thing that pancreatitis left me with. I have to be really careful what I eat. But I also don't know when to stop or learn. 

So yes, that is a dominos I have every month, another sickeningly sweet hot chocolate, and oh yes another cake pit stop on the weekend. I am my own worst enemy.

But no one ever sees what goes on behind closed doors, beyond the over exposed Insta snap of my cold hot chocolate. 

It was only 2 weeks ago that a weekend of bad eating left me for a week with agonising stomach pains, constant nausea, having to sleep with a hot water bottle every night and having no appetite. It was the worst flare up that I have had for a while, but these are common place to me. 

I vowed I learned my lesson this time. I'd had enough of carrying anti sickness tablets around and chewing on glace ginger (10/10 nausea cure btw). But here I am already consuming a dominos pizza, chocolate Yule log and mince pie in the same day. 

I'm constantly playing with the devil and I know it. How many biscuits is too many? When am I next going to be pushed over the edge? That greedy, piggy voice in my head is always there saying 'go on, just one more', then they back track 'JUST FINISH THE WHOLE PACKET'. I hate inner me.

Greasy food, sugar laden food and basically anything processed or fatty is a 100% no for me. The pancreas is closely linked with how you digest food, and pancreas inflammation can be caused by all of the above. 

I've been clear of pancreatitis for a fair few years now. But my pancreas is still scarred, it's there dormant in the background, scared of my every move. 

LOL. I nearly had to ring 999 for eating a packet of haribo earlier this year. I couldn't walk I was in so much pain, I was sick by a car showroom and I couldn't eat for a couple days. Wasn't the first time though, never is. I've also had to run out of M&S to be sick by a bin once because of Mr Candy King.

My issue is that I feel like food is my only vice in life. I exercise a lot, I can't drink, so why should I also be denied of my one true love in life? It's food.

I feel like it's a sick joke when I can't even handle a slice of cake with friends. That's why I come back running every time, it's a vicious circle.

It's something I've very much kept behind closed doors before. It's like a dead weight I carry around with me everywhere. It could be worse, a lot worse. I know it could. When temptation is always around you, it's always going to be hard.

For 2018 I 100% vow to get back onto the wagon. There's no IFS or BUTS this time. 

Start following the basic diet I know my pancreas yearns from me. I need to start behaving. Everything in moderation and all, so I will be making exceptions here and there. But for my own benefit I think I need one whole basic month to see how well I can feel.

Because truth be told, I can't remember the last time I felt well. That makes me sad. There's more to life than a piece of cake and I need to show myself that in 2018.

Here's to health and happiness in 2018. Reworking old habits and being kind to myself. It's not you, it's me.

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Why I'm Going To Be Signing Out of Social Media On Christmas Day

I started the year off with one whole week off social media. The endless engagements, new babies, gift announcements and #boydidgood posts were enough to turn me green with envy after Christmas dinner lunch. Feeling deflated and well, just a bit shit about myself.

Scrolling through social media is very much a filler of my time. I do it when I'm bored, lonely and when ya know, want to have a stalk. The worst times you can. It's those types of moments when the Instagram feed eats you up inside. You become the big green monster. It's the posts you keep thinking about hours later. Tbh, it ruined the festivities and new year for me last year. It just made me feel really rubbish about myself.

The digital free time I had at the start of the year was probably the best start I could give to any year. I felt so motivated, refreshed and I suddenly had all of this free time to DO stuff. 

My Christmas Day is usually just spent with my mum, dad and sister. But I'll still find myself reaching for my phone during the day. I'll be looking at what other people get, trying to post something just as good, refreshing my phone until I've had 11 likes. Moaning about not getting enough likes, then thinking I'm the only one looking at social media on Christmas Day of all days. Like OK I get it, I need a life.

I have an unhealthy obsession with it over Christmas which is why I will be signing out of all my accounts for 24 hours over Christmas.

There aren't going to be any PRs looking for people on Christmas Day. You aren't going to get a brand regram. Albeit nice, you probably *won't* gain 1,000 followers either. You'll always be lucky if you get more than 20 likes too. So what's the point?

It's all going to still be there come Boxing Day.  

Christmas Day needs to be that day that I am good to myself. My brain needs a complete shut down, apart from worrying about not getting enough pigs in blankets and whether I'll be out of my pjs by 11. Both inevitably gonna happen. Soz not soz.

The point is, do we ever really get any time off when we're constantly wired through social media? A week was bloody hard for me, self confessed Insta addict. But 24 hours, I'm in.

I want to be in the moment this year. A head that isn't clouded with feelings of low worth. A day where I don't know what anyone got gifted, or who got engaged (let's face it, there's usually about 5). A day of feeling good, doing good and having quality, uninterrupted time with my family. Plus, at least I'll be able to give the Corrie Christmas special my undivided attention this year.

I'll see you all on Boxing Day. 

Are you planning on having any digital free time over Christmas?

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A Festive Afternoon Tea At Boringdon Hall

I was about to say about how bloomin' wonderful and festive the weekend has been, but HELLO Wednesday, how did that one happen. Only another 8 working days to get through now until Christmas. We can do this.

So yeah, last weekend was great. I got a real Christmas tree, decorated it, went to London and even had a snow day. I also had the most wonderful afternoon off having a rather festive little afternoon tea at Boringdon Hall Plymouth. I mean, I like cake and tea anyway, so what's not to love? 

My colleagues joke about it, but I really don't drive further outside of Plymouth. Not even into Plympton which is, LOL Plymouth still. So I'd never even been to Boringdon Hall before which I'm not gonna lie about I'm mad about. It's situated in the most hidden yet stunning location, it's easy to find and the grounds are from something of a fairytale. I knew I was gonna like it there.

It's the type of place I always dream I'll book myself into for a few days of R&R, fascinating company and country walks. Yet to happen, but maybe for Christmas hey?

Boringdon Hall are renown for their amazing afternoon teas, a home away from home. They even did a Beauty and the Beast themed afternoon tea earlier in the year which was an obvious hit. The grounds themselves are breathtaking, but the actual dining rooms are something else. Think Hogwarts, but for muggles.

We were led into a huge, high ceiling hall which felt more like a cosy country lodge than a dining room. There's me imagining there being tables and seats like the school canteen. It was home to cosy sofas, roaring fires, and Christmas decorations to top all Christmas decorations. You can promise to get all the festive feels by the time you leave.

Once we were seated it was time to get ready for the festive offering. Do wear soft pants, because that top button of your jeans won't be staying done up for long.

This special edition afternoon tea has been individually designed to melt our hearts and warm our bellies during Christmas time. The afternoon tea had a real mixture of your classic Christmas favourites, with an alternative twist.

Working from the bottom tier up, the savoury selection included the cutest finger sandwiches, a classic ham sandwich which easily pleased the fussy eater within me, a salmon blini, coronation chicken sandwich and a cucumber sandwich. What more could you want? Let's face it, for me the afternoon tea is all about the sweet treats. 

The next layer is a total classic, but favourite in my eyes, a plain and fruit scone with plenty of jam and cream. There's nothing to see here, apart from the debate that inevitably will unveil, jam or cream first?

Saving the best for last. A slice of traditional Christmas cake, which is honestly one of my favourite things about Christmas food, after the mince pies and tubs of cheeselets. Marzipan, icing and all.  I loved the twist on the traditional Yule log, which posed as Santa's belly, fat and chocolatey, just how I like my Yule logs.

Without a doubt the real star of the show after the 'figgy pudding' was the Snowman macaroon. Ugh, can we just take a moment to appreciate this little guy. It's something that I wouldn't have even thought of adding to an afternoon tea. But it bloody works.

With our tummy's full of festive food, we could have sat there for hours on end with our mulled wine and tea (there's at least 61748 different teas to choose from, well, almost). 

The member of staff was so attentive during our time at Boringdon and the atmosphere was amazing. The time felt so precious there, I would never have thought I was 5 minutes away from the dual carriageway in Plymouth. It was peaceful, beautiful and just everything you need from a relaxing afternoon. It was a mini escape from daily life that I didn't think was possible at 2pm on a Thursday afternoon.

The festive afternoon tea at Boringdon Hall is only here until the 31st December. It's £30 per person and includes the full feast, with a glass of mulled wine and tea. However, they do a different themed afternoon tea every month, as they understand that we take afternoon tea just as seriously as they do!

Let the festivities commence! 

Have you been to Boringdon Hall before? Do you like going for Afternoon tea?

*I was invited to Boringdon Hall for afternoon tea, however, all opinions in this post are 100% my own

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30 Things To Do This Christmas

Yesterday was wonderful. I booked a day off to buy and decorate my first ever real Christmas tree. I did step in dog poo, smash a glass bauble and bought netted light curtains instead of tree lights, but whatcha gonna do? I mean I don't know about you, but I really think I'm bossing adult life right now. Just me doing adult things and making my first Christmas in my new home one I'll remember forever. 

When we work, exercise, blog, socialise and just try to be the best person we can, before we know it Christmas has been and gone and that lull between Christmas and New Years has just been left to decay and sit there, along with the tub of cheeselets and boxes of partially opened Christmas biscuits. Let's face it, there's always at least 5 on the go.

I want to make this Christmas the best yet, Squeeze every ounce of time out of my days off and just ya know, make it the best one yet. 

Just a gal hooking you up with 30 lil things to keep you occupied this Christmas so you can tell your colleagues on the 2nd Jan you've done more than eat. Well, maybe.

1. Go to a Christmas carol service, with mince pies, mulled wine and good people. Most churches host these sorts of events. There is one in Plymouth on the 19th and I am ridiculously excited. It's something I've never been to before, but it's sure to give me all the festive feels.

2. A day devoted to Christmas films, wrapping, and doing nothing. Okay, so we've probably already all done this. But there is nothing better than keeping cosy, not moving for the whole day and just generally loving life.

3.A Boxing Day walk. Nothing gets me ready for more food quite like a Boxing Day morning walk. It always feels so fresh and quiet on this day, and I love the anticipation of more food and films with the family.

4.A board games evening. With hot chocolates and snacks. 'Cos Christmas. It's the perfect reason to ditch your phone for the evening and enjoy the company you're with.

5.Do a random act of kindness. Buy a homeless person a drink, donate some clothes to charity or a local refuge centre. Take part in the shoebox appeal. Christmas is a time for giving and family, but it's also important to think of those less fortunate.

6. Bake mince pies and Christmas gingerbread cookies, eat them in one sitting. 

7.Go for an evening walk and admire all the Christmas lights on the houses. It's my favourite thing to do. I try to do the same when I drive home from work, but there's only so many times I can get away without hitting something.

8. Christmas jumpers all day errr day. It doesn't have to be Christmas jumper day to wear those ugly, but oh so beautiful things. 

9. Build a gingerbread house. This has legit been on my Christmas bucket list for 16373 years. Basically since before time. I can't think of anything more fun than building one by yourself or with a sibling or partner, if ya fancy a row.

10.Wrapping. Get the Pinterest boards out, the ribbons, masses of wrapping paper and even some foliage. I like to go ALL out when it comes to wrapping. I love getting crafty and making it look nice. Is it okay to ask for the ribbon back after tho? Asking for a friend.

11.Sales shopping. Whether you're a get up at 5am kinda gal on Boxing Day morning or like doing it from the comfort of your Christmas pit, there's always sales to be had. A great filler of time when the family have gone home and your only company is a tub of cheeselets.

12. Plan your new year. Once the festivities are out of the way, that lull until New year is the perfect time to sit down and think about your goals for the new year. There's never a time I feel like I have my shit together as much as when I have that written list of resolutions in front of me.

13. Go to the pantomine. If the 'he's behind you' jokes still get you, then the panto is an absolute must. Who said it's just for the kids?

14. Buy everything festive shaped. Christmas tree crumpets, tick. Mini mince pies, tick. ALL the festive food needs to be bought, consumed and posted on Instagram during the 12 days of Christmas. It will guarantee you at least 20 likes.

15.Head to your local Christmas market or go away somewhere for the weekend. Sample all the food stalls, hot chocolates, churros, mulled wine EVEN Yorkshire pudding wraps in Plymouth, say what. Eat your way around each stall until you can't walk anymore.

16. Buy a real Christmas tree, and decorate it. It's 100% more effort than a fake tree, BUT the smell and the fun of trying to make it look straight. It's worth every bloomin' second.

17.Turn on Christmas FM. Cut the fuss. Make the switch and revel in the Last Christmas' and All I want For Christmas for at least, hmm, all 4 weeks of December. 

18. Buy all the Christmas lush bath bombs. Use Luxury Christmas Pud bath bomb on Christmas Eve, bathe in it, enjoy the sweet scent of Twilight. No Christmas Eve bath time will ever be the same again without this one.

19.Crack out the new Christmas PJS. Head to Primark for a new set, hit up the ASOS next day delivery for a pair on the 23rd if you forget. There's nothing better than putting on a clean, fresh pair when you're waiting for Santa.

20. Ice skating. Whether you hit the ice, or just sit from the sidelines and pretend you went, ice skating is so magical at Christmas. It might not be the Rockefeller ice rink, but STILL.

21. Cracking the tub of Roses open at 10am. Ain't no time like the present. (DOES ANYONE EVEN LIKE ROSES THO?)

22. Treat yourself to a hot chocolate, cream and marshmallows. Swap that daily cuppa for a little cup of loveliness. Nothing says Christmas like a warm cup of cocoa.

23. Invite everyone over. Being a host and getting to buy all the festive napkins, plates, cups, balloons, festive food is just the best. £100? No problem. It's Christmas! Making your guests have the nicest time is just the best feeling. Not up to hosting? just order a dominos for everyone. It's a win, win!

24. Light all the candles, turn all the fairy lights on. I always hit up the Primark home aisle for a set of fairy lights, or 56.

25. Have digital free time. I'm actually *thinking* about not using or looking at social media once on Christmas Day. There's only so many engagements and #boydidgood posts a gal can see, and quite frankly I want to be in the moment this year and grateful for what I have around me. 

26. Crack out a Christmas buffet. I might go as far as saying I actually sometimes prefer a buffet to the actual Christmas roast. Well, probably not, but I do love a bloody good spread. The cheese, the crisps, the chocolate, the nibbles, I like it all. 

27. Leftover turkey sandwiches and chips. The leftover turkey is here to stay, there's plenty of it, if you're not a bubble and squeak sort of person, sandwiches are the next best thing. 

28. Make a Christmas cake from scratch, Ok, so you probably needed to do this one a couple of months in advance. We usually buy a pre-made fruit cake and then decorate it with marzipan, chocolate, basically the whole works. It's still just as fun and tastes pretty good too.

29.Christmas is a whirlwind, but it's also a time to take time out and rest. Christmas is for you to refresh and look after yourself. Make time for self care, general rest and time alone. It's so important to realise you don't have to be constantly pleasing people over the Christmas period. You do you.

30. Hang a Christmas wreath on your door. Go round the local neighbourhood and take a picture of every single door you spot with a wreath on it. I make this a yearly tradition now and I love that I can actually take part this year too. Perfect Insta content for the whole holidays. #ihavethisthingwithdoors

What are you most excited about this Christmas?

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